Thursday, 21 May 2009

• American Idol=American Idiots, Pt. 1

  I’m not a regular viewer of American Idol; as I’m not a fan of modern pop music, the show has little to offer me.  Apart from the gleefully cruel early episodes of each season—laugh-filled showcases for the horrific caterwauls of talentless wannabes who’ve yet to realize they are talentless wannabes—American Idol has been off my radar for years.  My parents, however, are recent converts, and my exuberant mother has taken it upon herself to keep me up to speed on this season’s epic storyline, which quickly evolved into one of Talent versus Audience Predisposition:  could the contest’s obvious monster talent, Adam Lambert, win over the American viewing audience despite the allegations (and genuine likelihood) of his being gay?

   

  I have to admit, it’s been an intriguing question…and as of last night, we got our overwhelmingly depressing answer.  That I accurately predicted it weeks ago was no comfort.

   

  As the entire blogosphere already knows, Adam Lambert lost to Kris Allen, a worship director from…um, somewhere…who is, in all fairness, a competent, albeit unremarkable vocalist.  To lay to rest some of the hyperbole surrounding young Adam, it must be said that his season wasn’t without its stumbles; he did no justice to Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire,” for example.  However, his willingness to take risks and his sheer vocal presence should, by all rights, have earned him the championship nod.  As it turned out, though, the American audience was weighted more heavily toward the churchgoin’ Kris Allen, which shouldn’t have been all that surprising, really:  American Idol’s audience has generally skewed a bit conservative.  That there were some red state/blue state tensions influencing the voters cannot be proven, but when that very possibility is coupled with the show’s established demographic, Kris Allen’s victory over his more inspired, more talented competition makes perfect sense...look at the show’s history, and you’ll see that the safe choices (the country singers and balladeers) have almost always fared better than the edgier contestants. 

   

  Even if you take the issue of Lambert’s sexuality off the table, though, the Idol audience is, in the end, the pop music audience.  Virtually by definition, the modern pop music audience likes its stars predictable, easily compartmentalized, and not challenging (artistically or personally) in any way.  Iconoclasts like Elton John would never breakout in today’s pop music climate.  Rock stars take risks; rock stars innovate and push envelopes.  Pop stars, conversely, fit into pre-existing niches.  The last pop star to create a new niche for herself was Madonna, and since her early-1980s debut and subsequent rise to stardom, the pop milieu has been pretty much plug-n-play.

   

  Now, I really don’t care that Kris Allen won and Adam Lambert lost:  Lambert will do quite well for himself, and the Internet is currently laden with speculation as to whether or not he will be asked to step into the shoes of the late, great Freddie Mercury as the frontman of glam-rock legends Queen.  While Internet speculation generally isn’t worth the time it takes to post it, the fact that such buzz surrounds the American Idol runner-up serves as assurance that Adam Lambert will find fame and fortune.  I also don’t care that, once again, American thinking seems to have been swayed (in part, at least) by the moralistic nonsense established in a millennia-old collection of contradictory writings attributed to ancient religious leaders whose existences, like that of their messianic savior, cannot even be proven.   Rather, what irks me about this season’s outcome is that, once again, it is made painfully obvious that American’s don’t know a frakkin’ thing about rock-n-roll.

   

  Admit it:  this post just went in a direction you did not expect.     

   

  Part 2 to follow later today...

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